What Does a Clerical Collar Say, part 5
February 26, 2007
It continues to amaze me how popular this series of posts has been over the years (top generator of Google hits here at Paradoxology).
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I wore my black neckband shirt to my mother's funeral earlier this month -- in part, because I was to officiate at graveside, and in part, because I figured that the friend of the family who would be officiating at the funeral -- a senior chaplain at Methodist Hospital -- would likely be wearing her collar as well.
As it turned out, however, I ended up being the only one wearing "the collar" that day. And the reaction I received wasn't at all what I expected.
By-and-large, most people seemed not to particularly notice the collar and said nothing to me in reference to it. There were two people whoever, whose comments to me at the conclusion of the funeral service were very opposite of one another.
The first -- a younger woman who had worked with my mom -- made reference to the collar and stressed how proud she knew my mom would have been of me if she could have seen me that day.
The second -- a woman who knew my sisters and I from High School but hadn't seen me since -- was rather confrontive about my wearing of a collar: "Why are you wearing THAT?" she began. "Did you change religions?" When I explained that such collars were common in my denomination's past and that I had begun to wear one myself on special occasions, she interrupted with, "Well. Why don't you wear them every day, then?" Her tone of voice seemed accusatory and confrontive to me, though I admit, I wasn't in tip-top shape right then (i.e. emotionally), so I might have misread her. She managed to slip in another dig (how a congregation I attended 25 years ago was responsible for a split in the church that she still was attending). I had no choice at that point but to turn away and give my attention to the host of other people waiting to greet me and express their condolences.
Reflecting later on the comments of the second woman, I realized that I had been assaulted by a fundamentalist! And then I remembered how common it is in the Gospels, to observe "outsiders" acting like "insiders", and "insiders" (e.g. the disciples) acting like "outsiders"! The first woman - a stranger to me -- blessed me with her words. The second woman -- a professed "Christian" -- wounded me with her words. The first woman accepted me. The second woman judged me.
As a servant of Christ, I am called to love all people -- even the fundies who may malign me (Lord, have mercy).
What a clerical collar might "say", seems to depend on who it is that's listening. And despite the misunderstandings and judgments that might come my way from fundamentalists (and others?), I remain convinced that the benefits still outweigh the liabilities.
What do you think?
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Chris,
Did you listen to the Emergent Village podcast a couple weeks ago featuring Samir Selmanovic? I think you'll find his thoughts really resonate with what you experienced.
Posted by: Bald Man | February 26, 2007 at 06:44 PM
Bald Man,
Thanks for the heads-up. That was a fascinating message by Selmanovic. Personally, I have long recognized how often God speaks through ordinary folk outside of the Church. Years later, when studying the Gospel of Mark, I was astounded by how often outsiders seemed to be better followers of Jesus than the disciples were (insiders). Amazing.
Posted by: Chris | February 27, 2007 at 05:40 PM
Chris, collars are an interesting dilemma... Try being the wife of an Anglican priest who prefers tab collars and walking down the street holding hands with him! Oh the looks you get! It's funny how an innocuous thing like the choice to wear clericals or not can cause such interesting situations...
Posted by: Anna | February 27, 2007 at 09:18 PM
Sorry for the grief caused by the one lady. I am so amazed how people act. Religion is all they know. They know nothing of Christ and his mercy and grace.
Sad indeed!
Posted by: Mykel | February 28, 2007 at 09:03 AM
Totally digging the pic !
Posted by: benjy oliver | March 01, 2007 at 09:34 AM
Mykel -- always good hearing from you, friend.
Benjy -- THANKS! :D
Posted by: Chris | March 01, 2007 at 11:16 AM
I am a huge fan of clergy wearing the clerical. I feel that they are not quite living up to their calling if they don't. I do understand that it is a personal choice however.
I have a question: I am a high school student with every intention and desire to go into the clergy. I function as my school's unofficial chaplain. Can I wear a clerical?
What makes a clergyperson a clergyperson? An education and a slip of paper? Or is it their Divine Calling from the Lord Almighty? I personally think it is the latter. I understand and fully appreciate higher education. I, too, intend to further my education as far as possible. I do, however, feel that I, as a future cleric, should be able to wear a collar.
In Peace,
Cody
Posted by: Cody | March 01, 2007 at 09:09 PM
Cody,
Good question! It depends on your concept of "calling." Is it REALY a "personal thing?" If it is, then you can call yourself whatever you want and wear whatever you want.
Historically Christians have seen this as a community thing. If God is calling you to leadership in the Christian community, the Christian community has something to say about that. Thus the community dictated that their leaders wear clericals, so they new who their leaders were and never forgot that they were set aprt for that ministry.
If you are not called by a community, then you are "self appointed" (even if you beleive that is it God calling you). And of course if you are self appointed, you can do whatever you want and call yourself whatever you want.
I am a deacon in the Orthodox Church. I am under obedience. I MUST where clericals in the function of my ministry, I have no personal choice in the matter. I must refer to myself in my community as Deacon, or Fr. Deacon or Rev. Dcn (depending on the appropirate formality involved.)
My advice to you is to minister to others how and where you can. Don't seek to legitimitize your ministry by appropriating clothing and such which really arn't yours to take. (IMNSHO) Your ministry IS legitimate, we are all called to minister to our neighbor.
God bless you Cody,
Fr. Dcn. Raphael
Posted by: Fr. Dcn. Raphael | March 02, 2007 at 08:55 AM
Fr. Dcn. Raphael --
Great response to Cody's post (thanks for posting, Cody!). Fair, balanced, informative, loving. Excellent.
Blessings,
Chris
Posted by: Chris | March 02, 2007 at 10:47 AM
Hi Cody,
I am a Presbyterian minister in the Philippines. And currently finishing my Batchelor in Theology in one of the universities hir . Guess what? Im 18 years old!. Serving as a minister in a rural church in my country. I am pastoring a church now for 2 years. and for two years I am wearing my Clerical collar without hesitation. Becuse I am an instolled minister and not just a collar as a presbyterian minister I also wear Alb and stole during the church services. And people would not believe my age. Because I look mature and older than my real age.
Take care.
Posted by: Pastor Jerlo Jaropillo | March 20, 2007 at 07:42 AM
Hi Rev. Chris,
I hope I address you correctly beacuse I have no idea what denomination you belong. May I know were you belong? lol....
hope to hear from you,
nice shirt and collar!
Posted by: Pastor Jerlo Jaropillo | March 20, 2007 at 07:51 AM