Accepting the Blessing of Others
March 30, 2008
Okay. Put your thinking caps on and help me understand this one.
Why do some people seem so unwilling to accept heart-felt words of blessing from others? When someone extends a word of blessing to such a person (e.g. "May the Lord bless you!"), rather than responding with something like, "Thank you" or "Amen!", they inevitably respond with "He does." It's an response which seems to upstage the pronouncement.
Is it just me, or does this smack of arrogance? Or... is it a type of pride which just isn't humble enough or willing enough to admit that they need any more of God's blessing because they have everything in their spiritual lives already taken care of? Or... is it simply because they have never been taught the importance of giving/receiving blessings or how to go about practicing such?
Seems to me, that it is a powerful thing to both speak blessing over as well as receive blessing from others. If that indeed is the case, then why do some believers seemingly refuse to graciously receive ANY blessing that someone else would offer?
.
Photo credit: © Johanna Goodyear, iStockphoto.com
I've not come across this, I think, but it's interesting. It would be useful to hear what you thought about the tone of voice and body language, but I would guess that's implicitly informed your interpretation.
That said, I'm wondering whether in some cases it's a way to try to say one or both of two things: one is "I'm a Christian (and know God's blessing as a consequence)" the other might be, "Be encouraged, God does indeed bless (me)". Of course you may be right that it is a kind of refusal of the blessing (I'd say that "thanks" or "Amen" is a more appropriate response, or even "And also with you" or somesuch) but it could also be a kind of put-down: "you don't need to bless me" this most often a kind of anti-clericalism which reacts against any hint of priestcraft. I've certainly met some from some kinds of very protestant and charismatic backgrounds who might react in that way. It would be a way of resisting what they perceive as an attempt to impose or reinforce hierarchical relationships in the body of Christ.
Posted by: andii | March 30, 2008 at 10:06 AM
andii,
Thanks for posting your thoughts.
The first possible reason you've suggested makes sense -- especially if the person receiving the blessing isn't confident that the one doing the blessing knows that they are indeed a Christian. The other possibility you've mentioned -- a kind of anti-clericalism or a reaction against any hint of priestcraft, is one I've never thought of before, but one which would make a lot of sense, especially in certain evangelical circles which strongly emphasizes the priesthood of every believer.
I have to confess, many years ago I myself was occasionally guilty of this very practice (i.e. responding to the blessings of others with a curt "He does"). As far as I'm able to determine, in my case, I would give the "He does" response as a subtle way to assert my own spiritual maturity -- a spiritual "posturing of sorts".
Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner! I can't believe I used to do this! And ahhh, the irony over how the tables have now turned. And yet I do not want to assume that others I see responding the same way necessarily have the same motive as I once did. And so I'm grateful for your comments -- they're a great help.
Posted by: Chris | March 30, 2008 at 02:38 PM
Well, here we go.
1)The phrase is cheap. By that I mean when someone sneezes we say a quick "god bless you" and move on. Often times when we communicate we end our communications with a God Bless You and it is often stated just as fast. It is used as a way to end a conversation, it is not heartfelt at all. It is much as Andi said about body language and tonality.
2) Who is saying the blessing? Someone in a clerical collar and a position of spiritual maturity? or is it someone we have little or no relationship with? Personally I cringe when the pastor tells me to turn around and speak a blessing to the guy behind me. When I do that it is just cheap, not really Holy Spirit prompted and really just a word spoken.
I like to be blessed. I do not know that I have ever said "he does" in direct response, but if I have it has been so programmed I did not even recognize it. I am indeed blessed, but I would never cringe at someone saying more of a blessing over me. I need it. It is encouraging and spiritually uplifting to my soul, my ministry, and my family.
Posted by: Carl Holmes | March 30, 2008 at 05:04 PM
Carl,
Good point about the phrase, "God Bless you" being cheap -- but not in all contexts, right?
Regarding the speaking of peace to people during worship gatherings... during one of our services, I felt led (after a teaching about peace) to invite those in need of peace this morning to stand and allow my associate pastor and I to simply pronounce over them, one after another, the words that Christ himself pronounced: "Peace to you". It was a powerful and humbling time. And, by the way, we did not sense any leading to replicate this during the other worship gathering this morning.
Like you've already shared, I too am grateful for those who speak blessing over my life and circumstances.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Good stuff.
Posted by: Chris | March 30, 2008 at 06:07 PM
Of course not always Chris. I think we just banter the phrase around a little to easily sometimes.
Posted by: Carl Holmes | March 31, 2008 at 05:02 AM
Carl,
Okay, what about those instances when someone sneezes and we say a quick "God bless you." Is there any chance that doing this might -- at least -- communicate some level of "caring" ? Or might it just as easily make the person sneezing feel even more awkward or embarrassed for having sneezed?? Any thoughts?
Posted by: Chris | March 31, 2008 at 05:26 PM
I think there might be an assumption on the part of the person being blessed that it is fact the person offering who is arrogant. The question might be--who is this person to think s/he has the power to give me God's blessing, to think that s/he speaks into the ear of God? The implication is that the bless-ee assumes the bless-er thinks s/he belongs to the correct religion, and knows what God deems worthy of blessing or not blessing.
Posted by: Diana | March 31, 2008 at 09:00 PM
Diana,
Thanks for posting. Your thoughts are quite helpful. I think you're dead on about the assumptions being made, especially when the bless-ee has a different worldview/religious background (or lack thereof) than the bless-er. You're keeping us on our toes. :)
Posted by: Chris | April 01, 2008 at 06:15 AM
Thinking about it a little more...I would expect a "He does" response to come from someone who has rejected the idea of a God that "judges", to an extent, and focuses on a universally loving and accepting picture of God. (This person believes these ideas to be mutually exclusive.) S/he might hold that God blesses everyone, and that someone who gives explicit blessings is someone who does not share this view, someone who judges and believes in a God who judges based on specific criteria. The bless-er is arrogant then (in the mind of the bless-ee) not only because s/he thinks s/he knows what God thinks is good, but because s/he dares to discriminate in the name of a discriminating God, thus spreading a false and ultimately harmful view of the nature of God; "He does" is then a defensive reaction to the assumed thoughts of the bless-ee.
Posted by: Diana | April 01, 2008 at 08:40 PM
Diana,
Wow. That's a terrific insight. And your summary...
"He does" is then a defensive reaction to the assumed thoughts of the bless-ee.
...it's a angle that really got its hooks in me. I can really see how the bless-ee's response would be a defense action against a perceived errant view of God and His character. Very helpful. Thanks.
Posted by: Chris | April 02, 2008 at 09:13 AM
Looking for scripture on accepting a blessing that someone has given you..
a (material blessing)
Posted by: Lee Standish | June 03, 2008 at 05:51 AM